Well, I’ve had to make some more big changes in my life. For the last month and a half, I’ve been burning the midnight oil, stuck between finishing up the old and getting started with the new. For the first time in a long time, I fell behind on the things that matter to me a lot, and it’s not like me to let that happen. The Type-A in me was (and still is) horrified.
Last Sunday was my last day at my previous day job. The week leading up to it was emotional, as you can imagine. I was sad to leave and scared of the unknown and scared to fail at being my own boss and making ends meet. When I finished my last shift, I knew it was officially time to hustle and get to work.
But Monday morning I felt exhausted and drained. The article deadlines had crept up on me. My latest workouts for Zygo were half finished and unedited. My upcoming workbook was barely out of the outline phase and scheduled to launch May 1st. I started a new personal training business, and marketing isn’t my strongest skill. (Insert another overwhelming addition to my life.)
By noon, I let myself have a mini meltdown because I suppose it was time to just get it over with so I could deal with the mess. After my five minutes of self-pity was up, I took a deep breath and started making a list of what needed to be done in the order it needed to be completed.
“I don’t know which way is up right now,” I told a friend later that evening.
Now that a week has passed, I realize that the way “up” is, in fact, a bit steep and messy.
This week, I finished two articles for ImageMakers & Influencers Magazine, submitted my first blog to my editor at Psychology Today for review, went on three podcasts, finished my Zygo workout edits, booked consults for new training clients this week, and the Audiobook version of Agent Innocent was finally approved and launched on Audible/Amazon/iTunes, etc.
I’m by no means caught up, but this entire week, my job was doing all the things I love (writing, swimming, fitness, etc.). With as little rest as I took this week, I’m sitting here surprised that I actually feel energized. Maybe that’s a sign that this is the way up for me.
Another thing that surprised me was how quickly I went from the old work schedule to a 24/7 don’t-stop-till-you-drop-in-bed schedule. Sometimes it’s necessary to work long hours to complete tasks. And sometimes I just have the tendency to be a workaholic.
The way up is going to be hard. I know that. I’ve never been afraid of the hustle or the hard work. But I’ve been a pretty absentee friend, a distracted girlfriend, and a stressed daughter and sister this past week. It’s been a good reminder to check myself before I fall into old patterns.
This week, I know which way is up because last week confirmed I’m on the right track. But just like a steep hill, it’s easy to let the difficulty control my actions and emotions rather than see the progress I’ve made and celebrate it for what it is.
This week’s adjustment involves the art of the mindful pause. I’m working on knowing when it’s time to stop working for the day and pick up in the morning. I’m working on being completely present for the task at hand and present for loved ones when it’s time to take a break.
And with that, it’s time to take a break. It’s officially Monday now, but it’s barely Monday. In other words, I’ve burned the midnight oil again. I’m still a work in progress. Good night.