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Melanie Lentz

WRITER - ATHLETE - TRAINER
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Lessons From a Three-Year-Old

November 26, 2019

I spent a good part of yesterday with my three-year-old nephew, and I went to bed exhausted. He’s like a compact aerobics instructor crammed into a size 4T. Other than his afternoon nap, we were on the go.

 

He’s fun to observe because he just loves life. I was thinking about his little face last night and a thought came to me:

I should be more like my three-year-old nephew.

 

Here’s why:

 

HE ATE DESSERT FIRST

 

I made him lunch when he got to my house, and he ate the cookie first. It seems like we get so hung up on what we SHOULD eat or do that we just don’t allow ourselves to enjoy the good stuff first. Some might say that kids need discipline. Eat your veggies first, right? I’m not a parent, so maybe the “parent” move was to save the cookie for after his lunch. But at the end of the day, who cares if he ate dessert first with me? He enjoyed it and then went on to his apple peanut butter and the other nutritious items on his plate. I tend to be fairly regimented in my life, but sometimes ya just need to live a little.

 

HE DISPLAYED HIS QUIRKS

 

He spilled a little bit of his milk on his shirt. It upset him, and he took it off and handed it to me. Fix it, Auntie Mel. I had clothes in the dryer already, so I had to improvise. He was crying at this point because he needed a nap and was getting cranky. Not only that, but he’s very particular with just about everything, clothing included. He prefers things to be just so. I went to the bathroom and pulled out the hair dryer. I held up the shirt and we blow dried it. His tears were still wet on his face, but he squealed with delight when the dryer was blowing my hair more than the shirt. He wasn’t ashamed of his quirks, and he didn’t try to hide them from me.

 

HE TOLD ME WHAT HE WANTED

 

I recently got black out curtains for my bedroom because the neighbors behind me have a faulty sensor light that goes on and off all night long. My room is pretty dark now, and my nephew is in that afraid-of-the-dark phase. He told me he wanted to go home and take a nap at his house. Yes, it was inconvenient. Yes, it delayed naptime, but he told me he was uncomfortable and offered a solution to his fear. Sometimes we just need to say what we want. I definitely don’t do that. I’m more of the suffer-in-silence type, but having a preference is okay. 

 

HE TOOK A NAP

 

I fought naps as a child. It’s only been recently that I’ve allowed myself to take a nap once in a while. Rest is refreshing (as it’s supposed to be). I think about my To-Do list and feel guilty for not constantly working. If there’s an opportunity for a midday pause, it’s okay to take it.

 

HE SHARED HIS JOY IN THE TOY AISLE

 

He recently told my sister that I didn’t have any “kid toys” at my house. Auntie Mel only has “dog toys,” he tattled. I told him we could go pick out some toys after his nap. As soon as he woke up he wanted to go. We walked up and down every toy aisle… twice. He showed me all of his favorite toys, knocking a few things off shelves accidentally along the way. It was so much fun watching him pick out toys for my house. A child’s joy is contagious. It made me wonder if my energy is contagious and whether than energy is as positive as the little boy pressing all of the buttons on a giant Buzz Lightyear toy.

 

HE’S HONEST

 

He told me my hair was a mess. I went to a mirror and it most certainly was a big mess. We’d been playing hard, and my hair was less than put together.

 

HE’S INCLUSIVE

 

After we got back from buying the toys, he wanted to play with all of them (of course). So we put them together and opened the packages. We got a giant coloring book, and he said he wanted to color first. He handed me a marker and said, “You color wif me, please?” It’s easy for me to just do things myself. I don’t always ask for help or company with random tasks, fun or not. Sometimes I (wrongly) assume no one would want to do the fun things with me. I’ll have “fun” on my own to avoid feeling like a loner when no one is available. How stupid that sounds even to type. My nephew included me in his fun, and I shouldn’t be afraid to ask others to participate in the things I like to do too.

 

HE’S KIND

 

While we were watching a movie later in the evening, I accidentally bumped my poor little dog’s nose. My nephew looked at me and matter-of-factly said, “Auntie Mel, stop hurting her. We don’t hurt dogs. Be nice.” Of course, I didn’t hurt my dog, but he was quick to point out that it wasn’t right to do so. He didn’t hesitate to stand up for someone (or furry someone) he felt was being wronged. How often are we quiet when we should speak up? Being kind involves looking out for others, and his little face telling me to “be nice” was a good reminder.

 

HE ISN’T AFRAID TO SHOW AFFECTION

 

He doesn’t withhold his love. He doesn’t overthink a hug. He’s always excited to see his loved ones. It seems like affection can be overanalyzed as we get older. Is it because we are afraid of rejection or just want to come across as tough? I don’t think we’ve stopped caring, but maybe we’re inside our own heads. If you care about someone, tell them. If someone needs a hug, give a hug. If someone means the world to you, don’t withhold your affirmation because vulnerability scares you. Run into a bear hug like my nephew.

Embracing the typos till next Monday (or Tuesday since it’s a bad blog),

Mel

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The Bloggy Blog

The place for occasional and random thoughts and ramblings. Check the archives below for some old bad blogs.


Older Stuff

Featured
The MySpace Series: Part One
March 15, 2021
The MySpace Series: Part One
March 15, 2021

Last week, I was searching for an email to prepare for a podcast interview. The keyword search produced a handful of emails, one of which had the subject line “myspace blog posts” and myself as the sender/recipient.

Apparently, a few years back (or eleven), I copied all of my old MySpace blogs from college into an email (probably before I deleted everything on MySpace). I don’t remember sending this email, nor do I remember writing any of the posts.

As I read through them, I realized I’ve matured a lot since then, but I also realized I might need to revisit some of the “wisdom” my young adult mind was spouting on MySpace.

I guess I’ve been blogging badly longer than I thought.

Read more →
March 15, 2021
The Way Up
March 8, 2021
The Way Up
March 8, 2021

Well, I’ve had to make some more big changes in my life. For the last month and a half, I’ve been burning the midnight oil, stuck between finishing up the old and getting started with the new. For the first time in a long time, I fell behind on the things that matter to me a lot, and it’s not like me to let that happen. The Type-A in me was (and still is) horrified.

Read more →
March 8, 2021
The Little Things
January 11, 2021
The Little Things
January 11, 2021

Last week was quite a week, wasn’t it? I found myself saying aloud, “What is happening?”

What is happening? A lot, to say the least, and enough to leave anyone in a state of sadness and despair. What a mess. An important, troubling mess that needs sorting and fixing. Anyone on all sides of the table can probably agree with that.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s to come, both for me and for the country. I think I, like many, secretly hoped for clarity and change as the New Year rolled around. A clear path to the future.

When I know I need to make a change, I delay the decisions and hope for a “sign” that it’s the correct one before I make it. I’m sure many can relate to that. Big decisions are scary. Change is scary. But risk is necessary sometimes. Like I’ve been saying for a long time, I can’t move forward without getting uncomfortable.

But a sign would be nice, sometimes.

I suppose clarity and answers are often present if we stop and listen long enough to see them. There’s something to be learned everywhere, even if it’s in the little things.

That’s what I want to share today… a few little things.

Read more →
January 11, 2021
Notes to Self
December 28, 2020
Notes to Self
December 28, 2020

Last week I went through my Book Box, a big decorative box I used to store book drafts and ideas when I was writing Agent Innocent. Talk about a trip down memory lane. Wow. Those early book drafts were rough, not to mention very angry and depressing.

I was happy to send most of the contents of the box to the shredder.

I had forgotten, however, about some of the random contents I’d tucked away in there.

Sprinkled throughout the Book Box were post-it notes with quotes in my loopy cursive, torn pieces of paper with scribbled quotes from movies or television shows, and torn pages from magazines with quotes on them.

As I read these, I smiled, picturing myself in my little one-bedroom West LA apartment scribbling quotes and notes in the wee hours of the morning. The night owl in me was alive and well those days.

In my final Bad Blog of 2020, I’m going to go back to those late-night notes and share a few of them here. I remember the circumstances and reasons for some of them. Others I don’t. Either way, it was good for me to revisit them, and I hope some of them are encouraging to you as well.

Here they are!

Read more →
December 28, 2020
12,000 Steps
December 14, 2020
12,000 Steps
December 14, 2020

“Why are we like this?” Ah, we’ve asked this question many times.

I thought about the days of old, the ones before Apple Watches and activity trackers came into my life. I thought of the college days when my pink flip phone took crappy pictures and I had to hit the 7 button four times to type an S when sending a text. I trained for half and full marathons like this and had no idea what my pace was during these long runs. I just made a route ahead of time so I knew I’d gone the distance and didn’t worry so much about pace. It was about the experience, not the inner competition with a watch.

Read more →
December 14, 2020
Bad Day
December 8, 2020
Bad Day
December 8, 2020

When I have a bad or cranky day, I usually tell myself to “try again tomorrow” because a bad day does not have to be a bad week or a bad life. A phrase from Anne of Green Gables comes to mind. “Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it (yet).”

My family has a rule. If we are cranky, we need to “announce” it. It’s as simple as saying, “I’m cranky today, FYI.” If you act like an idiot to family, then someone is probably going to ask, “What’s your problem? Did you forget to announce today?”

Read more →
December 8, 2020
Winning
November 30, 2020
Winning
November 30, 2020

I want those people to know I’m not a joke, that I’ve won. God, I feel that.

Read more →
November 30, 2020
Throwing Stones
November 23, 2020
Throwing Stones
November 23, 2020

As a kid, I liked to collect pretty rocks. The shinier the better. The more misshapen the better. Sometimes I’d even find a dull looking rock and crack it in half with a hammer to see if the inside was shiny. I’d be delighted if the insides sparkled.

Today I still have pretty rocks, and, to some, random rocks around my house might look a little peculiar. But, then again, I’ve never claimed to be “normal” so perhaps visitors chalk it up to my eclectic taste in décor.

I came by some of these stones while living in West Los Angeles. Others were picked up after I moved to the Midwest.

The new rocks are healing stones.

(Now relax, family and friends. I have not taken to worshipping inanimate objects and I’m not delving into devil worship.)

Read more →
November 23, 2020
Character and Characters
November 16, 2020
Character and Characters
November 16, 2020

I’ve decided to write a novel. Well, perhaps I should rephrase. I’ve had a trilogy “planned” for about three years now. I just haven’t done anything about it. I recently figured out why that might be the case.

I’ve had this grand plan to write an exciting story with the “usual” Secret Service assassination (or assassination attempt), complete with a complex execution plan and a hyper-observant batch of agents saving the day at the very last millisecond. Also, it wouldn’t be complete if the first book didn’t end on an extreme cliffhanger where someone has died and we won’t know who until the second book.

I had a general outline of the story for each book. I just needed to write it.

But I didn’t write it.

Every time I sat down to write the story, I failed.

Read more →
November 16, 2020
September 12, 2001
November 9, 2020
September 12, 2001
November 9, 2020

This election was the first time I voted at an actual polling location. Since election days were usually travel days for me in the Secret Service, I was always an absentee voter. This time, I participated in early voting at a local shopping mall. I was excited as I stood in line. It felt like my first time voting. I sat in the little booth smiling like a little kid as I filled in my bubbles, smirking at the fact that Kanye West was actually an option on the ballot. I thought it was joke when others mentioned it. Guess not. I grinned from ear to ear as the lady stamped my ballot and handed me the “I Voted” sticker. #American

“I don’t want to talk about the election. I stay away from political topics.”

This is usually my answer when people ask me about politics, and, specifically, this election. I think this country has morphed into a place where those conversations are unlikely to remain civil, especially if they occur on the Internet where anyone and everyone behind a keyboard can become a rude, sniveling pile of hate to one another.

Read more →
November 9, 2020