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Melanie Lentz

WRITER - ATHLETE - TRAINER
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CLARITY IN THE CLUTTER

January 06, 2020

My family is doing another “Declutter Your Crap” challenge for the New Year. We set up a photo stream and a 12-week decluttering plan for our respective houses. Each week we will clean out something and post “before” and “after” pictures. For example, one week we will clean out the fridge. Another week we’ll clean out our purses. Yet another will involve cleaning out closets. That sort of thing.

 

It’s amazing how much “stuff” we can accumulate in a short period of time.

I just moved into my house a few months ago, and the kitchen cabinets are already looking cluttered. The bathroom cabinet already has expired sunscreens patiently waiting to be tossed and replaced.

 

What I found quite interesting is how easy it is to hold onto junk AND how easy it is to avoid throwing it out or replacing it with useful things we’ll actually use. I’m not a “stuff” person. Going from a six-figure income to no figures and then to a few (but steady) figures meant my life got simplified… a lot. I became less concerned with spending hundreds of dollars on Louboutin shoes and a Chanel camera bag and more concerned about getting rid of stuff.

 

I like to think of moving to Iowa as a purge of sorts. I sold most of my possessions and started fresh in a new state with a new outlook on life. A clean slate and a determination to do things right this time. I sold my Chanel, my beloved Louboutin platforms, furniture, and all of the “stuff” I didn’t have a use for. It was liberating to simplify my life. I used words like “minimalism” and relished how organized and functional (as opposed to dysfunctional) I thought I’d become in my new life.

 

Fast forward to New Years a few days ago, and I was standing in my house looking around saying, “What IS all this JUNK?” Where did all of this stuff come from? Why did I buy half of this? Why did I think I “needed” it?

 

I bought a small house this year, and one bedroom is unused. The door stays closed because It’s turned into a catch-all unfortunately. The pile of papers I need to file sits on the box of books I’ve been meaning to take to the library. There’s a big piece of cardboard I need to make into a pattern for my kitchen backsplash. There’s an “eBay or throw it away” tub in there, too. Small piles of semi-organized chaos.

 

It makes me cringe. This is not the organized perfectionistic way I’ve always lived.

 

Maybe it’s that my life has gotten busy again. Maybe I’ve started to realize that a little clutter (or occasional disarray like an unmade bed and unfolded laundry) is okay as long as my time is better spent elsewhere and with those I love and care about.

Maybe, for once, I’ve finally lightened up and prioritized my life better than I did before.

 

We all probably have those items or circumstances in life that are hard to let go of. Rather than deal with the mess, we put the stuff in a literal (or figurative) catch-all and close the door. I’ll deal with that later, we say. I’ll address it when I have time or am in a better frame of mind.

 

I used to do that with my life problems, and now I seem to be doing it with my material possessions for some reason. Maybe decluttering my material possessions is reminding me of the new “stuff” my personal life has accumulated. I seriously have too much of some kinds of junk and not enough of other good things. Maybe you can relate.

 

This week the Declutter Your Crap challenge involved cleaning out the pantry and refrigerator. I did that yesterday and posted the pictures. Here’s what I noticed. I don’t have much food in the house. I don’t like cooking for one, so I end up eating cereal out of a mug (much easier to carry around) or something easy like that when I’m alone. Cereal isn’t a terrible nutritional choice, but, dear lord, I need to go to the grocery store for “real” food.

 

I made a simple dinner a couple weeks ago for me and my boyfriend. I left the dishes overnight and did them the next morning. I don’t have a dishwasher in the new house, and hand washing takes a while. I chose to sit and talk that night and did the dishes in the morning before I went to work. That’s unheard of for me, but my inner rebel loved it.

Who cares if the two plates, forks, spoons, pasta strainer, and pot sat overnight? Seriously. What does it matter?

 

Some clutter can wait while other clutter cannot.

 

A couple weeks ago, I went into the catch-all bedroom to get my formal dress out of the closet for a wedding. My “book box” was in the closet. It’s my big box of writing ideas, including my book series that’s still unwritten. When I moved into the house, I put the book box in the closet and shut the door because I was angry at how Agent Innocent hadn’t done as well as I hoped. I told myself to get back to other, more consistent, means of income and work. Remember, I told myself, writing books will probably always just be a hobby and not how you make a living. Forget it, Mel. You gave it a good shot. Move on.

 

How badly I want to take that book box out and dive into it, but fear keeps me from doing it. Dealing with fear is old junk that can’t wait. The dishes can wait. Dealing with my inner self-doubt cannot. I’ve made excuses for everything involving writing. This blog is the only writing I’m doing right now. Let’s keep it real.

 

I gave a real doozy of an excuse the other day. I said I write better in the middle of the night. I’m a traditional artist who will write page after page in the wee hours of the morning. Without my late-night inspirations, I cannot get creative. I have a day job now. The luxury of time for creative license doesn’t exist as easily. But here I am sitting on my couch on a Monday afternoon writing. I’m a walking (er, I mean, writing) contradiction. There is time. I just don’t take advantage of it because it’s not when I feel most creative.

 

I have too much cluttery fear and not enough of the gumption to just write when I can.

 

Stuff. There’s so much stuff to declutter.

 

I’ve realized, though, that sometimes decluttering leads to the discovery of long-lost good “stuff” that just needed to be excavated from the messes. I just opened the book box. It’s full of post-it notes, handwritten ideas on discarded envelopes, and books with slips of paper tucked in them to mark the inspirational passages. I found difficult notes related to the tougher parts of my life, but they didn’t bother me as much as they would have a couple years ago. I found random storylines and character profiles for my unwritten fiction ideas.

 

That’s some of the good stuff I need to revisit and unearth from my fearful doubt.

 

There’s clarity in decluttering life’s figurative and literal messes. But, ironically, the past couple weeks have taught me there’s just as much clarity to be found in leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight.

 

Embracing the typos till next week,

 

Mel

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The Bloggy Blog

The place for occasional and random thoughts and ramblings. Check the archives below for some old bad blogs.


Older Stuff

Featured
The MySpace Series: Part One
March 15, 2021
The MySpace Series: Part One
March 15, 2021

Last week, I was searching for an email to prepare for a podcast interview. The keyword search produced a handful of emails, one of which had the subject line “myspace blog posts” and myself as the sender/recipient.

Apparently, a few years back (or eleven), I copied all of my old MySpace blogs from college into an email (probably before I deleted everything on MySpace). I don’t remember sending this email, nor do I remember writing any of the posts.

As I read through them, I realized I’ve matured a lot since then, but I also realized I might need to revisit some of the “wisdom” my young adult mind was spouting on MySpace.

I guess I’ve been blogging badly longer than I thought.

Read more →
March 15, 2021
The Way Up
March 8, 2021
The Way Up
March 8, 2021

Well, I’ve had to make some more big changes in my life. For the last month and a half, I’ve been burning the midnight oil, stuck between finishing up the old and getting started with the new. For the first time in a long time, I fell behind on the things that matter to me a lot, and it’s not like me to let that happen. The Type-A in me was (and still is) horrified.

Read more →
March 8, 2021
The Little Things
January 11, 2021
The Little Things
January 11, 2021

Last week was quite a week, wasn’t it? I found myself saying aloud, “What is happening?”

What is happening? A lot, to say the least, and enough to leave anyone in a state of sadness and despair. What a mess. An important, troubling mess that needs sorting and fixing. Anyone on all sides of the table can probably agree with that.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s to come, both for me and for the country. I think I, like many, secretly hoped for clarity and change as the New Year rolled around. A clear path to the future.

When I know I need to make a change, I delay the decisions and hope for a “sign” that it’s the correct one before I make it. I’m sure many can relate to that. Big decisions are scary. Change is scary. But risk is necessary sometimes. Like I’ve been saying for a long time, I can’t move forward without getting uncomfortable.

But a sign would be nice, sometimes.

I suppose clarity and answers are often present if we stop and listen long enough to see them. There’s something to be learned everywhere, even if it’s in the little things.

That’s what I want to share today… a few little things.

Read more →
January 11, 2021
Notes to Self
December 28, 2020
Notes to Self
December 28, 2020

Last week I went through my Book Box, a big decorative box I used to store book drafts and ideas when I was writing Agent Innocent. Talk about a trip down memory lane. Wow. Those early book drafts were rough, not to mention very angry and depressing.

I was happy to send most of the contents of the box to the shredder.

I had forgotten, however, about some of the random contents I’d tucked away in there.

Sprinkled throughout the Book Box were post-it notes with quotes in my loopy cursive, torn pieces of paper with scribbled quotes from movies or television shows, and torn pages from magazines with quotes on them.

As I read these, I smiled, picturing myself in my little one-bedroom West LA apartment scribbling quotes and notes in the wee hours of the morning. The night owl in me was alive and well those days.

In my final Bad Blog of 2020, I’m going to go back to those late-night notes and share a few of them here. I remember the circumstances and reasons for some of them. Others I don’t. Either way, it was good for me to revisit them, and I hope some of them are encouraging to you as well.

Here they are!

Read more →
December 28, 2020
12,000 Steps
December 14, 2020
12,000 Steps
December 14, 2020

“Why are we like this?” Ah, we’ve asked this question many times.

I thought about the days of old, the ones before Apple Watches and activity trackers came into my life. I thought of the college days when my pink flip phone took crappy pictures and I had to hit the 7 button four times to type an S when sending a text. I trained for half and full marathons like this and had no idea what my pace was during these long runs. I just made a route ahead of time so I knew I’d gone the distance and didn’t worry so much about pace. It was about the experience, not the inner competition with a watch.

Read more →
December 14, 2020
Bad Day
December 8, 2020
Bad Day
December 8, 2020

When I have a bad or cranky day, I usually tell myself to “try again tomorrow” because a bad day does not have to be a bad week or a bad life. A phrase from Anne of Green Gables comes to mind. “Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it (yet).”

My family has a rule. If we are cranky, we need to “announce” it. It’s as simple as saying, “I’m cranky today, FYI.” If you act like an idiot to family, then someone is probably going to ask, “What’s your problem? Did you forget to announce today?”

Read more →
December 8, 2020
Winning
November 30, 2020
Winning
November 30, 2020

I want those people to know I’m not a joke, that I’ve won. God, I feel that.

Read more →
November 30, 2020
Throwing Stones
November 23, 2020
Throwing Stones
November 23, 2020

As a kid, I liked to collect pretty rocks. The shinier the better. The more misshapen the better. Sometimes I’d even find a dull looking rock and crack it in half with a hammer to see if the inside was shiny. I’d be delighted if the insides sparkled.

Today I still have pretty rocks, and, to some, random rocks around my house might look a little peculiar. But, then again, I’ve never claimed to be “normal” so perhaps visitors chalk it up to my eclectic taste in décor.

I came by some of these stones while living in West Los Angeles. Others were picked up after I moved to the Midwest.

The new rocks are healing stones.

(Now relax, family and friends. I have not taken to worshipping inanimate objects and I’m not delving into devil worship.)

Read more →
November 23, 2020
Character and Characters
November 16, 2020
Character and Characters
November 16, 2020

I’ve decided to write a novel. Well, perhaps I should rephrase. I’ve had a trilogy “planned” for about three years now. I just haven’t done anything about it. I recently figured out why that might be the case.

I’ve had this grand plan to write an exciting story with the “usual” Secret Service assassination (or assassination attempt), complete with a complex execution plan and a hyper-observant batch of agents saving the day at the very last millisecond. Also, it wouldn’t be complete if the first book didn’t end on an extreme cliffhanger where someone has died and we won’t know who until the second book.

I had a general outline of the story for each book. I just needed to write it.

But I didn’t write it.

Every time I sat down to write the story, I failed.

Read more →
November 16, 2020
September 12, 2001
November 9, 2020
September 12, 2001
November 9, 2020

This election was the first time I voted at an actual polling location. Since election days were usually travel days for me in the Secret Service, I was always an absentee voter. This time, I participated in early voting at a local shopping mall. I was excited as I stood in line. It felt like my first time voting. I sat in the little booth smiling like a little kid as I filled in my bubbles, smirking at the fact that Kanye West was actually an option on the ballot. I thought it was joke when others mentioned it. Guess not. I grinned from ear to ear as the lady stamped my ballot and handed me the “I Voted” sticker. #American

“I don’t want to talk about the election. I stay away from political topics.”

This is usually my answer when people ask me about politics, and, specifically, this election. I think this country has morphed into a place where those conversations are unlikely to remain civil, especially if they occur on the Internet where anyone and everyone behind a keyboard can become a rude, sniveling pile of hate to one another.

Read more →
November 9, 2020